As I write this, the full moon is still up, though now the dawn is too--and so am I. Technically, today (as I write this) is Saturday. My day started at 5:00 AM yesterday (Friday) morning. I woke up bright and early in order to be to court on time. As my husband so eloquently said, “No day is a good day when it starts with a court appearance.”
I spent my early morning hours journaling, praying, and trying not to give in to the worry monster within. I got ready. Then, I waited for my Mom to arrive. She got here and we rushed off and barely got into the room on time. Then, we waited for about an hour for our case to be called. It was painless, but exhausting. And the worst part was that I felt as if I hadn’t actually accomplished anything.
Mark and I went to my Mom’s to move some televisions around and we went home. I finished journaling and praying. I worked my way through my self-development exercises. I checked my e-mail. I felt so exhausted I went to bed without feeling as if I’d accomplished anything.
I’m getting better at recognizing when my body has had enough on whatever sleep it’s gotten, in this case a total of four hours. Of course, acknowledgment isn’t enough. Action is required. That means going to be at 10 or 11 in the morning, even though I haven’t actually done anything, because my body is ready to sleep. If I miss that window of opportunity, then I could be up for sixteen hours with all my brain cells putting up neon signs that would read “Out of Order.” At least, I’m assuming they do. It’s not like there’s any cells that retain the ability to read when that happens, so there’s no way to know for sure. Anyway, the point is that there are consequences if I ignore my body.
So, I went to bed. I woke up around 5 PM. I got to work. I took a break from work. I put the boys to bed and got some caffeine. I went back to work. I took a break to read with Willy and then I sent him to bed. I went back to work. I took a break to go grocery shopping. And now I’m back at work. Pretty soon I’ll be going to bed again. At least, I hope I will be.
This is how I pace my day. I assess my responsibilities, my appointments, and my deadlines. I compare these to my fatigue and my concentration. I plan accordingly, at least as well as I am able to do. I pace myself. Day and night have very little to do with it.