So, it’s very early Monday morning. I have an hour to decide whether or not I’m even going to try to sleep. It’s around 3 am. I have a meeting at 9 and an appointment at 11:30, which means I have to be up at 8 at the latest, which means if it’s going to be worth it at all I have to be in bed shortly after 4 am.
My mind is still buzzing. I feel the pull of work. But I know I’ll be exhausted by 10 am and I can’t miss my appointment. My meeting might give me the buzz I need to keep going. But I’d been hoping to use this as an opportunity to switch over to a day schedule. Day schedule, schmay schedule, you say…but I like being awake for the boys. The quiet of the night has lost its allure.
I don’t get it. I really don’t. After my surgery, I slept as much as I needed to, more than I thought I possibly could. I continued to sleep well for a few days. When I was able to stay up more, I felt better. Better than I had before the pain that made the surgery necessary. I felt good even.
And then, just like that, I was back to my lack-of-sleep schedule.
Within days, I was back to being tired. Not nearly as tired as I’d been before, but more tired than I should be considering I’m getting more sleep than I was…it’s just during the day. It’s still about two weeks before I see the sleep doctor. I really, really hope he’s got a solution in mind, because I’ve got nothing. I have no idea how to fix this.