A summary of what’s been happening in my life: a new train, a new track, a new direction. Is that cryptic enough for you?
Sometimes it takes longer for our lives to align properly than we’d like. Sometimes, especially when you’re me, you stubbornly head in the wrong direction like a bull with a bit in its mouth. And yes, I’m the bull. Sometimes things have to come crashing down in dramatic fashion for you to question what it is you’re trying to build here—and why.
Why? Good question. Of course, the answer was there all along—but, well, bulls with bits aren’t always so good at abiding by intuition.
Throughout my adult life (since I had my first child when I was barely 19 years old, I do mean my whole adult life), my writing aspirations and raising my children have done this awful dance that ended with both halves of myself stomping all over each other’s toes. Being the stubborn bull and poor dancer that I am, I tried to force them to align. I tried to break them up and put them off in their own separate corners. I tried to make them sit up straight and play nice.
Needless to say, that didn’t work so well. Go figure.
I believe our lives fit to a plan not of our making. While I believe we make choices, and inevitably pay the consequences of those choices, I believe there is more outside of our control than is within it. All I can really control is how hard I work, and I’ve worked pretty darned hard. But the timing, the confluence, the ever-elusive alignment evaded me.
I’ve accumulated the experiences I need. I’ve developed my craft. And I’ve found someone who, while not officially claiming the title of mentor, is certainly behaving as a mentor would.
While it is not my intention to evoke the horrid autism-as-puzzle concept, I must say that the pieces of my life that I’ve tried to force into place have finally taken a shape where they simply fit together to make a beautiful vision of what’s to come.
Right now I’m trying to plan that vision—with enough flexibility and potential serendipity to avoid a repeat of that word-image of two bulls dancing through a glass house.
Explanation aside, here’s a little bit of what I have planned for future posts to make up for not actually having any of them ready:
- The Threat of Burn-Out (a response to Rachel’s first book, amended by reading her second)
- Recommended Reading (reviews of Rachel’s books)
- Embracing Chaos…Again (why I have to start with my first book…which seems rather obvious in retrospect)
- A Vision for the Future (in which I make cryptic references to plans that I’m not ready to disclose in order to whet your appetites and build support for a long-term, collaborative project—how diabolical of me)
Stick around. New Train + New Track = Better Content!