My brother, Patrick, is a fabulous uncle to his three autistic nephews.
Now, in our case, we’re luckily enough to be blessed with a really understanding, supportive family who not only accept that our boys are different, but go out of their way to accommodate these three precious members of the family. We’re surrounded by this loving effort year-round, on all sides.
And I know this is a substantial blessing, because I talk to other parents and am often saddened to hear how other autistic children are excluded from events shared by their families. I think back to when the boys were little and none of us knew what was going on and remember just how hard it all was for everyone. So, I get it. I do.
But, at the same time, I don’t, because once we knew what we were dealing with our entire family made an effort to include these three special children. No ONE, not even one member of my family, has made my boys unwelcome. It took effort on all our parts, but the effort was made. And it works. Sure, our family events are different than they otherwise would be, but they do work. And, believe me, I know how lucky we are and how very blessed we are, because I couldn’t do what I do without all this wonderful, heart-warming support.
So, it’s not like my brother is a novelty when it comes to embracing my children as they are.
And yet, my brother is a novelty, because he gets my boys in a way that nobody else does, that nobody else would think of. Including me. Including Mark. Patrick understands a part of them that is its own special connection. And I’m constantly astounded by this, because he’s able to do this despite the distance that often separates us all.
My brother came for my commencement ceremony and during this visit the magic happened with a light box. Technically, a light box is not a toy. It’s a fancy tool that artists and architects use to do work. Patrick had one, and he decided to give it to his nephews.
M – A – G – I – C
It’s that simple.
Willy was fascinated. Alex was captivated. And Ben…adorable Ben. I turned around and saw Ben listening to the light. He was smiling, enjoying it, and listening to the light. I haven’t tried, so I don’t know if I could hear what he heard. But…that was so Ben and so strangely appropriate.
M – A – G – I – C
I can encourage my boys in their art. I can supply them with materials. I can look for opportunities. And I’m not alone in this. Many members of our family have contributed to their love of art, which gives them such joy.
But my brother understands this on a deeper level. On a light box level. And it’s its own kind of magic.