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Try, Try Again

  • Posted on November 24, 2014 at 10:00 AM

I’m on a new prescription to fight the illness that has been lingering far too long. According to the doctor, it’s still just sinusitis and bronchitis. I haven’t developed any tertiary infections (bronchitis is the secondary one), including and especially pneumonia. So, I’ve got that going for me. The doctor also changed the antibiotic and extended the length of time I’m taking it. So, while I’m not better yet, chances are good that I will be by the time this medicine is through. Meanwhile, I am coughing a bit less and getting a bit stronger. So, I am getting back to work.

Working has been a problem for several weeks now. My work is very cerebral in nature, which means I have to reach a minimal level of concentration before I can produce quality work. The length of time I’ve been away from my work, along with other complicating factors, has also made it necessary for me to start from zero.

Basically, along with the concentration (which is improving) and the knowledge (which I’ve retained), my work depends on my confidence (which was depleted) and my skill (which has become rusty). A final ingredient, which is a bit more mysterious, is the creativity factor.

Creative writers—novelists and memoirists, for example—often speak of “the muse,” which is a nod to Greek mythology. Personally, I see creativity as being less dependent on external forces (like a demi-godish being whispering in your ear) and more dependent on internal forces, like a bubbling “pot” of a variety of inputs and a willingness to put different things together until you create something fantastically new. Though, I believe there are internal and external forces that interplay and interlay amongst each other, which is what makes creativity such a mystery.

For me, the biggest factor is that my creativity is most robust when it’s used abundantly. The more I use my creativity the more creativity I can bring to bear on a new project. Concentration tends to work in the reverse: the more I concentrate the less capacity for concentration during a given day. This creates something of an X-factor, where the one is rising, the other is lowering, and the optimal time to perform the hardest work is when they cross each other. Finding my X-factor is a matter of trial and error, because it is dependent on factors that change from day to day. If I spend long periods of time not working, then I get out of practice. My moments of optimal work time become shorter and finding them becomes harder.

As my strength has improved, I’ve devoted time to getting in the practice I need. So far, my X-factor has eluded me; but, the last few days, I’ve gotten pretty close. This is a sign that I’m ready to get back to producing end-product work for clients.

It’s about time!