One Long Night

  • Posted on August 4, 2014 at 10:00 AM

When one’s sleep schedule slips like mine does, it’s hard to know whether one will be awake during the day or during the night or both. I awoke Thursday afternoon. My progress was slow, but my energy was high. My thoughts were often scattered. I had work to do, so I made what progress I could as the afternoon inched towards evening and evening inched towards night and night inched towards morning. Still, I wasn’t done and I wasn’t really tired.

I knew I should stop and allow myself to wind down, but there were Friday things I had to do and Thursday things I hadn’t finished. I pushed myself onward and onward and onward and still I wasn’t tired, but nor did my progress speed up.

I did every Thursday thing I had to do and every Friday thing that must get done. Then, I finally crashed—leaving both Thursday and Friday things left undone, including a date night with my husband.

Slowly, slowly, over the weekend, I made up a few things here and did a few things there and still I inched by, mostly completing those things that couldn’t wait. Mark got his date night. I got some sleep. Every time I slept, though, I seemed to wake up sore and stiff like I’d wrestled with bears all through the night or maybe rode a long road on horseback in my sleep.

That one night turned into two workdays put together. That one night cost me my weekend and several days’ worth of productivity. I haven’t begun to catch up to what’s been leftover from that one night and the days that followed. At the time, it seemed “worth it.” I’ve got to remember that’s it’s not. I’ve got to remember that I don’t have that kind of capacity, even when it seems that I do, because I can’t recover like I used to do.

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