While I was never particularly in agreement with the mainstream methods of “handling” autism, I was certainly determined to make sure my children gained all the skills they needed to be successful. On the surface, this isn’t a bad thing.

But when you really get into it, it’s important to have the appropriate definition of “successful.” At first, my definition mirrored the standard American dream–a good job, a house of his own, a wife and kids, ect. and so forth. I was pushing myself and my children so hard to develop that I created a very stressful environment for all of us.

When I finally relaxed and let what would be be, I realized my children were still developing, and their “personal trajectory” hadn’t changed. The only thing that changed was what effort I put in to *make* it happen. All of that effort was just a wash.

My boys will be successful and the definition of that success will depend on what they want and what they can achieve. Success doesn’t have to be insurmountable to be an achievement; success doesn’t have to come standard to bring about happiness and fulfillment. And it doesn’t have to come at the expense of over-stressed lives.

Personally, I can attest to this.